My mate Gay Joey is by far the biggest Queen I’ve ever met. He won’t mind me saying that because that’s generally how he introduces himself to strangers. Either that or by necking 6 Jägers and propelling his cock round in the Navy bar on a Wednesday night – which, evidently, is how we came to meet.
Anyway, he rang me one night in absolute bits because, not only had he gone and done a 12 minute session on the beds after 2 months off and therefore looked like a really well-groomed lobster, he’d also had a shit haircut at the 051. Between sobbing hysterically and vowing never to leave the house again, he decided he was going to use this sorry episode as research to find the best barber in Liverpool. (For the record, in the 051′s defence, he did go in at 5.25pm on a Friday – so I’d just get the razor out if I was desperate to get on the vodka as well.)
That was all about three weeks ago, in which time he’s been keeping a low profile at the risk of one of his many sexual conquests will see him round town and realise, without his luscious locks, how much he looks like Sinead O’Connor. But yeah, the other day he turned up on my doorstep to tell me the “best news ever”… and apparently, in Joey’s world, the ‘best news ever’ roughly translates as “my hair looks fabulous”. And, give him his due, it did.
After ten minutes of priming himself in the mirror and another 40 trying to convince me that I defo CAN afford Ibiza this summer, he made me promise to use this here blog to tell the people of Liverpool how brilliant L1 Barbers on Richmond Street is.
9/10 (according to Joey.)
Also, if any of you are interested, this is what Buzz looks like these days.
I bet he still has a pet tarantula that he keeps with him in his apartment in his Mum’s basement.
‘Til Next Time,